I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Nicole vs. Life
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she told me i tasted like america
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
