He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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