can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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