Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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