i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
