Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
