I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
