Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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