First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
