Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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