Small penises have feelings too.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
