On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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