I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
