I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
