i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
