Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
