just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize