how hairy? two words: wookie tits
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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