So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
