he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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