can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
