Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
