Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
