Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
