I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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