So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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