Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
