Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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