just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
