i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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