i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
