I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
