my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
