Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
look no pants
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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