i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
