And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
