I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
