i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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