Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
