Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
