Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
