May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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