You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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