do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
