I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
