What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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