In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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