next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
