We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
