i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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