Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
