OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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